As a special warm weather treat, it’s time now for another in our long-running series of extracts from real-life tweets (as they used to be called – I suppose I should now say “posts on X,” or some comparable absurdity) that made some mention of IFRS, presented here in their original form, all oddity and error and possible obscenity intact (the most recent compilation was here). Let’s start with another in the apparently endless instances of alternative real-life uses of “IFRS” as an acronym. If you look for the Twitter account of @IFRSGermany, you get not the expected daily home-country tribute to IASB Chair Andreas Barckow, but rather the bulletins of the International Fire & Rescue Service e.V., providing information on matters such as the latest graslandfeuerindex (this can be useful to know, if you’re planning a quiet afternoon in the German grasland with your IFRS volumes). For example:

And, with the help of some omitted punctuation, it turns out that “IFRS” can also stand for “If Rishi Sunak…”

• Did Rishi Sunak lie regularly before he became PM or did he learn as soon as his wealth bought him membership of British Conservative Party. I am surprised with him as most Indians are decent people&not liars. IfRS isn’t careful he will have gone from decent man to a liar like BJ

The following sounds like the basis for a sad life story:

• There is this man who moves like my future husband. It’s in how he walks, how he talks, his mannerism, Oh my God his eyes There’s just one problem, He’s an IFRS gent. We can’t both go through hell, one of us must preserve their sanity.

Continuing on romantic themes, in response to a question on how couples met, someone said:

• He slid into my IG DMs talking about “why you got so many books” referring to my IFRS Standards. We now married. *In his interpretation of events, I DMd him first

And a related slice of life:

• When you call someone and their girlfriend answers. Okay ma’am, nice to meet you. Can I speak to my friend ??? I have urgent IFRS matters that need consultation!

I didn’t see the context for this one but it’s enjoyable on its own terms:

• you are fluent in IFRS, but that’s no good here, we don’t want any of that exotic European stuff, good clean Merican GAAP, can you do that or are you too French for that.

And here are some miscellaneous others:

• (Referring to an unrelated topic) And on that subject, someone typed in “ifrs 16”, which I initially thought was a typo or some sort of signal code. Turns out it’s accounting.
• When they gone get around to merging GAAP & IFRS. Rihanna will prolly drop an album before this happens
• Everything I’ve learned about ifrs. I’ve learned against my will
• Being an accountant is 76% making up shit and pretending IFRS says so
• I once saw a whole book on IFRS…i mean a very large book…kunge dictionary… then i realised i donno sh*t
• AH, good, you’re here. I’m from the Internal Freckle Review Service, the IFRS, and we need to go thoroughly over your freckle revenue.
• imagine dating someone working in Big 4, and it is more like taking another unit in college about accountancy. Talking from IFRS and GAAP 🙂
• all I want is to read IFRS, spend time with my friends and family and travel. I’m such a simple girly
• On a side note, I just cooked sambal terung for my meals tomorrow. I will have a long day tomorrow with team meeting in the morning then IFRS training at noon till 6pm. So for dinner I will just have a bit rice and this sambal. Lunch will be at the office
• Who the fuck sits there and goes “yuh we could really use a 30 page IFRS 11 memo on this” like what the fuck am I reading man
• IFRS niggas surely could have found a simpler English to define this shit. But no, they had to flex their muscles with complicated words that is hard to cram. Or I’m just hungry and I can’t think straight at the moment.
• i dread the day i understand the ifrs jokes these people crack.
• Please don’t make me learn IFRS. GAAP has enough imaginary numbers
• IAS this IFRS that LEAVE ME ALONE bro accounting standards my arse

(And this is me again) Well, Elon Musk may have pushed Twitter into the mud, but I think the above compilation conclusively demonstrated that you can still find a few pearls in there. Thanks for reading, and I’m off now to feast on some sambal terung (that is, fancily prepared eggplant!) while continuing my long wait for the next Rihanna album.

The opinions expressed were all expressed by someone at sometime, believe it or not.