A couple of years ago, inspired by a reported rumour about the origins of IAS 1 – one commentator called it “one of many ill-informed myths which ignores the realities of the world and, in particular, standard setting”- I had some fun making up my own IFRS-related rumours, in the hope that some of them might come to be circulated as fact (or that they even, coincidentally or by divine providence, might turn out to be true). To celebrate the holiday season, here’s another batch of those. Does what follows ignore the realities of the world and, in particular, standard setting, or does it perhaps, embody some of those realities? You be the judge!

• The Epstein files contain eleven references to IFRS 1, mostly in a salacious context.
• ISSB member Bing Leng spends large chunks of each meeting reading vintage Marvel comics (most often, The Silver Surfer) secreted inside his briefing materials.
• A few years ago, a particular IASB consultative group established its own consultative group, which in turn established another consultative group, which then set up another consultative group, the membership of which was identical to that of the first consultative group, thus causing a rupture in space and time.
• An IFRS practitioner who eats a whole can of chickpeas in one sitting will invariably be dead within a year.
• After ISSB Chair Emmanuel Faber finishes his morning yoghurt, he gleefully tosses the empty container out of the window.
• IASB member Zach Gast has no idea how to use a fork.
• It has been shown that IFRS is not even indirectly responsible for a single child being born.
• Erkki Liikanen, Chair of the IFRS Foundation Trustees, made most of his money wagering on cockfighting
• Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice spent the best part of a year trying unsuccessfully to get a musical out of the workings of the IFRS Interpretations Committee.
• The annual prize for “World’s Most Misinformed Person” was awarded in 2012 to a man who joined the staff of the IASB “for the action.”
• When current IASB Chair Andreas Barckow applied for the position, one of his references was rock legend Alice Cooper.
• If IFRS were a vegetable, it can be scientifically demonstrated that it would be a bunch of radishes.
• A few years ago, a man who had been stranded on a desert island all alone for 10 years saw a speck on the horizon. He initially thought it might be the long-awaited ship, then adjusted his expectations steadily downward as the speck got closer, until a woman emerged from the surf wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She approached the stunned man and, without even a hello, asked, “How long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?” “Ten years!” he said. She unzipped a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulled out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He took one, lit it, took a long drag, and silently expressed his appreciation. She asked, “How long has it been since you’ve had a sip of whiskey?” Ever more astounded, he replied, “Ten years!” She unzipped a waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulled out a flask, and gave it to him; he took a long, blissful swig. She started slowly unzipping the long zipper down the front of her suit, looked at him seductively, and asked, “How long has it been since you’ve had some fun?” The man, with tears in his eyes, replied, “Don’t tell me you’ve got a set of IFRS Handbooks in there!”
• In a little-known experiment, a demented Paraguyan scientist set fifty thousand monkeys to work on typewriters. Forty-nine thousand, nine-hundred-and-ninety-nine of the monkeys produced utter drivel; the other generated a perfect copy of Illustrative Example 6 to IFRS 13.
• IASB Tadeu Cendon lives strictly by the dictum that “Thou shalt read a memo only once.”
• A recent Central American instance of “streets running red with blood” turned out to have been caused by IFRS 9-induced nosebleeds
• Some 4% of the IFRS Foundation’s budget goes on cheese and pickles.
• Although A.I. can assist with many aspects of analyzing IFRS-related problems, it typically dodges questions on applying IFRS 2, variously citing either “chronic fatigue” or “that time of the month.”
• While Carly Simon is famously vague on the original subject of her “You’re So Vain,” she’s admitted that she can’t sing it in recent years without thinking of former IASB Chair Hans Hoogervorst
• If IFRS is applied in a forest with no one there to see, all but the oldest and sturdiest trees will fall.

So this is my gift to you, the reader, that if any of the above items comes up in casually gullible conversation, you can score points by smugly revealing that you know the source. And on that note, happy holidays!

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author, at least until they come to be universally held.