As a special holiday treat, courtesy of my mole at the IFRS Foundation, let’s enjoy now an important and revealing selection of recent correspondence to and from the office of IASB Chair Andreas Barckow.

Dear Dr. Barckow – In an interview, you said: “My wife and I are regular concert-goers, and we both sing in a chamber choir at our church, with a concert every six to eight weeks in non-covid times. Whether this will remain possible with my new role and commitments, I will have to figure out.” I’ve been very anxious to know how this aspect of your life is proceeding.

Thank you so much for your concern! It does open up something of a sore spot with me, as the choirmaster was recently heard to state that the group has “never sounded so good.” How could that be true, when I’ve been necessarily absent from all their recent activities? I’ve tried to compensate by organizing a choir of IASB members, but the results are mixed so far. Board member Zach Gast, to my surprise, has a voice like an angel, but he refuses to sing anything more sophisticated than “Why Don’t We do it in the Road.” Some of the others sound like they gargle every morning on a shredded copy of IFRS 2.

Mr. Chairman – if an IFRS standard is dropped in the woods and there’s no one there to hear it, does it make a noise?

Such philosophical musings are eternally stimulating to me! I may not know the exact answer to the question you pose, but I can confidently tell you this – if an IFRS standard gets issued and no one appreciates the changes that result from it, the IASB Chair still gets paid!

Andreas please help me! My partner and I are engaged and living together and he has a dog. I’ve never owned a pet so it took me a while to get used to. Over the course of our relationship we have had arguments over the dog – whether she can sleep in the bed or not. My partner has issues with me controlling things and making decisions on my own so the other day I told him that I was feeling a bit crabby and if it is ok that the dog can sleep on her own bed some days. He agreed. Last night, as we were getting into bed the dog started barking and it annoyed me so I decided to put her in her own bed. My partner was in the toilet at that time. When he came out he asked me why the dog was in her bed and I said that she was annoying me. He started to get angry with me because I was yet again controlling the situation and making decisions on my own. However, from my point of view, I discussed it with him a couple of days before. But now I realise he wanted to discuss it every night that I want her out the bed. As a result of this, I have not only found that he loves his dog more than me but that he would rather sleep with the dog in bed than with me. Yesterday after our argument, he decided to sleep on the couch which I thought was unnecessary. I also asked him, if I’m ever pregnant and have my mood swings because of hormones will he leave me alone/by myself then too? And he answered with probably. What should I do? Is it worth staying in this relationship?

My dear young woman, I’m grateful to you for entrusting me with your dilemma, even if it suggests a peculiar concept of my particular expertise. In a sense you have come to the right place, as there’s not a standard setter who doesn’t know the feeling of being (both figuratively and sometimes literally speaking) less loved than the dog. Given the endless consultative structure of the place I now work within, I don’t expect to have a feeling of control over anything for the foreseeable future. I put up with it for my love of financial reporting, but your partner’s behaviour appears to be entirely based in self-serving neuroses. So I say to you with confidence, derecognize that relationship now! Without blaming the dog.

Barcky my boy! Just a quick word to say I don’t miss you, or anything else about that shitshow! Good luck anyways! Hans the Hoog!

Thank you, my illustrious predecessor. I appreciate hearing from you, even if the sentiments you express might have been a little more constructive. Similarly, I wouldn’t have minded if you’d done a better job cleaning out the drawers in your office, and if you hadn’t so comprehensively defaced the private washroom. However, some of the notes you left me have been helpful, even if I find it hard not to blush when I read them. As did the choir members I showed them to!

(And this is me) The opinions expressed are…well, I don’t see why you’d think any of them would be mine… Happy holidays!