Canadian Accountant magazine recently reported that the Canadian Academic Accounting Association (CAAA) has announced its 2022 inductees into the Canadian Accounting Hall of Fame (CAHF).

The story notes: “Among the 11 new inductees are selections that have addressed omissions and missed opportunities noted by Canadian Accountant. The CAAA has addressed the notable lack of gender diversity that occurred in its first year (one of 12 inductees was female), with four women included among the 11 inductees of 2022.”

Founders of the Profession
Ellen L. Fairclough
James J. Macdonell
Francis G. Winspear

Leaders of the Profession
Paul G. Cherry
Sheila Fraser
Michael Gibbins
Richard F. “Dick” Haskayne
Louis Ménard
Patricia L. O’Malley
Gordon Richardson
Guylaine Saucier

I could note that the list also addresses another lack of diversity among the initial crop of inductees, that of not all being dead: some of those new names might actually turn up for the induction ceremony, if such an event is planned. In writing here on the first batch, I noted only the vaguest connection with one of the names – this time I’ve met at least three of them (maybe more, I’m not actually sure). At least one of them seems to me significantly overrated, but that’s another story; you can judge for yourself via the capsule biographies on the CAAA website.

Anyway, once again, via a mole that I have within the organization (he has a secret hideaway in the basement, near to where they keep the old CICA Handbook ring binders) I was able to obtain a selection of the rejected nominees for the Canadian Accounting Hall of Fame. Please read on with the requisite respect and awe:

Broderick Fyfe A fervent believer in the distinct nature of Canadian accounting, Fyfe came to view the discipline as a “separate solitude” worthy of being recognized as a sovereign nation. In Fyfe’s grand vision, this nation would have occupied a portion of southwestern Ontario, populated entirely by accountants and their immediate descendants, with accounting services as its only export; Fyfe calculated that this would constitute the fifth-richest nation in the world. Fyfe ultimately took up arms in furtherance of his cause, leading to his tragic death at the short-lived Battle of Unrealized Benefits.

Ariadne Steinkamp This pioneering feminist viewed traditional double-entry accounting as an embodiment of patriarchal oppression, consequently adopting a “subversive” counter-system whereby items traditionally recorded as debits were instead recorded as credits, and vice versa. Steinkamp’s methods caused some havoc when previously profitable entities were thereby recorded as loss-making and debt-ridden; however, she described this as “the first shot in a true sexual revolution,” rejecting all representations regarding her methodology’s practical drawbacks.

Jacques Chechik An early believer in the fusion of accounting and social purpose, Chechik’s deep interest in rehabilitation and second chances motivated him to staff his practice entirely with recently released convicts, believing that immersion in accounting would reform even the most hardened criminal. Although Chechik’s methods did demonstrate some promise, his career came to a premature close when he was shot by a recently-hired audit senior who took issue with a review comment about illegible handwriting.

Rufus Blandish Blandish astonished legions of accountants with his wild claim to have “enjoyed every single minute” of his fifteen years at Deloitte Canada and to have “liked everyone” he met there. While Blandish’s statements flew in the face of collective experience and logic, he held firm and even passed several lie-detector tests. Conspiracy theorists posit that Blandish was actually created in a Deloitte Canada laboratory for propaganda purposes, supposedly evidenced by a copyrighting green dot on an unspecified body part.

George “Bogie” Scofield Scofield’s enthusiasm for film star Humphrey Bogart led him to conduct virtually all aspects of his life and work in the style of “Bogie,” including tediously repetitive use of such phrases as “Here’s looking at you, kid,” and “We’ll always have Paris.” Scofield’s methods allowed him to carve out a unique niche in the profession; however, over the years his version of Bogart veered away from Rick in Casablanca toward Captain Queeg in The Caine Mutiny, bringing his career to an ignominious end.

Belinda Prass Prass alternatively amused and infuriated clients by insisting on conducting all interactions through the medium of her ventriloquist’s dummy, Cedric the sky-blue monkey. Speaking through Cedric, Prass justified this practice by citing a tired old joke – How do you know an accountant is lying?/Her lips are moving – and thereby holding herself up as the only demonstrably honest accountant.

I reached out to the CAAA to ask about my own prospects for entering the hall of fame, and was told I’d probably have to wait “until hell freezes over.” Given ongoing global weirding trends, that means I might make it within a decade! Happy holidays!

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author