To celebrate the arrival of summer, it’s time now for another round-up (the last one was here) of recent tweets that made mention of IFRS in some form, presented here in their original form, with all typos and oddities and occasional obscenities attached. Since I last did this, the Twitter character limit rose from 140 to 280. If you doubt the importance of this, you need only note how some of the examples  below took advantage of the new freedom.

I do have to admit to two occasions when for at least a second, in my pathetic desire for excitement, I was duped by IFRS-citing pranksters. Here’s the first:

• Guys there’s nothing to worry about! Bitcoin was down since it reported a paper loss in its results yesterday due to the migration from IFRS to GAAP accounting standards! Everybody get back to buying again now!

I momentarily took this at face value, thinking: wow, that’ll be a really great example to write about of how accounting standards can actually move markets! So I have to bow to the writer on that. It might have been a little more cutting-edge though to have the migration be the other way round?

Here’s the other one:

• Did you guys know that pornhub can capitalize the cost of lube used in the production of a film under IFRS, but must expense it under GAAP?

Long-time readers will be aware I’ve knocked out a few IFRS-related parodies over the years, but I had yet to consider the comic possibilities of accounting for pornography. Strangely enough though, it seems here too that the joke would be sharper if reversed, to cast IFRS as the technocratic enemy of saucy asset-building.

That one sort of leads here:

• IFRS training is going way over my head so I’m coming up with mathematical formulas to calculate the size of boobs. Like it’s surface area, area under the curve, idk. I’m busy plotting boobs on an a cartesian plane

I realize that one wasn’t really about IFRS…

The following impressed me with its eloquence and historical backdrop:

• Me in Accounting class: Debit and Credit sucks.
• Me in other colleges: I am the child of Friar Luca Pacioli. I live to abide by the rules of GAAP & IFRS. I can hastily project profit in the blink of an eye. Taxation runs in my blood. We are the pillars of the company’s finances

And so did this one, considering it was allegedly written by a dog (specifically a border terrier):

• Hmm, I don’t understand but mum is wittering on about IFRS 15 & revenue or something, I tend to turn off when she starts talking. ?!

Well, you can’t say that’s an unreasonable response, for dogs or humans alike. And now, the rest:

• Not sure what I hate more tbh: 1) International acct standards (IFRS) 2) Any Pitbull song about International anything
• Gone from sitting on a balcony in Tenerife this morning to doing IFRS 15 pre-course work back in my Glasgow flat this evening
• Stan said we are so concerned about people breaking English but we keep breaking IFRS and he forgives us
• Black Mirror S06 E02: a crooked accountant transgresses the IFRS by transposing tangible and intangible assets. The Accounts Committee takes on the case and sends nano-robots to destroy the incriminating files.
• I’m really happy I don’t study anything accounting related because I think I’d get annoyed with my crushes IFRS jokes if I understood them to those depths
• My IFRS standards, highlighters, tabs, Ben and jerrys and the great British bake off!! My controversial Tuesday night
• #lifeofanaccountantHennessy is trash, I’m in bed, just woke up and I don’t remember IFRS and my past years on earth modimo
• I hate to state the obvious, or be like you guys, but, Nigeria needs to be dismantled & sold for scrap to the lowest bidder. Per IFRS rules.
• And Nancy Hourmouzis is jealous of me and Susan Moses. Baby Moses was next door. I have no idea who owns 198 Chapel. But since they moved in. Itching but trouble. Stephen M Bragga wrote my IFRS book and Andy Rathbine Windows 10. Frank needs to get out of my life and John
• Omg, I was trying to call the Finance club but accidentally called the chef at the office discussing Finance IFRS. The chef said well, I got your order for croissants …what the fuck wrong number
• The only justifiable reason to start WW3 would be to make everyone else in the world switch to US GAAP. IFRS is whack af
• Accountants of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your #IFRS
• Men Lie, women lie. IFRS does not

And there we end our survey, only a few minutes older, but measurably wiser. Thank you for your time, and now get right back to buying bitcoins!

The opinions expressed, where not self-evidently written by someone else, are solely those of the author