More of my IFRS adventures on Twitter, or: IFRS is written by people who warm their cereal

Maybe it’s just me, but at the current time it feels wrong to let more than a few blog posts go by without writing about covid-19 – I mean, it is the defining issue of our year, perhaps of our generation (we’ll see). But I don’t have anything new to say about it. So I thought I might try some kind of parodic approach, as I like to do from time to time. For example, I could have tried putting together another collection of fake correspondence to and from IASB Chair Hans Hoogervorst, this time with a covid-19-related spin, such as:

  • Dear Mr. Hoogervorst I’m curious – what are the advantages and disadvantages of carrying out the Board’s work on a remote basis?
  • Thank you for that excellent question. One key disadvantage would be to be deprived of the direct human interaction with my respected colleagues. But on the bright side, I also don’t have to directly interact with the rest of them!

But you know, I couldn’t get it to work. So, feeling defeated and discouraged, I’m taking the rest of today off and leaving you with another selection of tweets that made mention of IFRS (and not of covid-19) in one way or another, presented here in their original form, all typos and oddities and possible obscenities intact (the last edition was here).

Let’s kick it off with a real winner:

  • I’m gonna take a dump. I have no choice anymore. Because if I don’t, IFRS 9 is not a well thought-out accounting standard.

Therefore, we glean from this, the writer takes a dump and the quality of IFRS 9 is validated. But you may legitimately ask – is there any reason to trust the writer’s bowel movements on such matters? Well, the question is probably moot, as the writer gives every indication of being computer-generated, applying the same formulation to a dizzying array of topics, for instance:

  • I’m gonna take a dump. I have no choice anymore. Because if I don’t, Someday, your pet is gonna leave you all alone.
  • I’m gonna take a dump. I have no choice anymore. Because if I don’t, Your thoughts weigh something

It’s never been so clear to me why we should fear being crushed by Artificial Intelligence. As a vaguely related but probably human-generated postscript:

  • IFRS 9 is the most ghetto shit I’ve ever seen in my life.

Here’s a little slice of life:

  • FA: Is there a doctor on this flight?
  • Dad: *nudging me* that should’ve been you.
  • Me: Not now Dad.
  • Dad: Not asking for an accountung teacher to help, are they?
  • Me: Dad, there’s a medical emergency happening right now.
  • Dad: Go and see if “Discuss IFRS 9″ helps.

This one probably needed a bit more refinement:

  • US GAAP or IFRS” Twitter spelling checker missed the abasence of a ‘C’ in both cases. When it comes to politicians reporting, the correct acronyms are “GACAP” and “IFCRS”. In both instances ‘C’ stands for ‘creative’.

Here’s an important workplace announcement:

  • Welcome to our rainmaker, maverick & trailblazer @CoruscaKhaya. A massive hire!! Khaya is an expert in complex offshore structuring & has a cat named “IFRS”. He can be found sampling strawberries at Wimbledon or with bikini clad company on a yacht in St.Tropez.

Sounds like quite a guy. But does the cat come when it’s called, that’s what we need to know…

The “accounting for girlfriends” concept continues to roll along:

  • How to apply audit concepts to your dating life:
  • – Determine materiality (deal breakers)
  • – Use professional skepticism
  • – Send confirms to their exes
  • – Search for “unrecorded liabilities” (side hoes)
  • & don’t forget to test annually for impairment

Sadly, no more information is provided on the nature of the confirmations to be sent to exes, or on what would be considered an acceptable response rate. I’ll let the “side hoes” pass by without further comment.

Here are two related theories on the nature of standard-setting:

  • IFRS was written by people who bring quinoa salad to thanksgiving
  • IFRS was written by people who warm their cereal.

I may not be entirely in tune with the social analysis there, as I don’t eat meat, and certainly enjoy quinoa salad. I don’t warm my cereal though.

And let’s end on two strikingly-captioned visual compositions:

Image

The caption was: “I get that I’m done with exams but my IFRS is not a door stopper.”

And yet, the picture suggests that it is

I doubt many people would have guessed the caption to this one:

EMTDs0rXsAEouBV

The caption was: “Me explaining how to adopt IFRS 15 and IFRS 16 coz she asked to say something interesting.” Her expression lies beyond my powers of analysis, but as the picture was taken pre-covid 19, she may have been wishing for an excuse to practice social distancing.

And there it is for another time! Thanks for reading along. Now I’m putting on my mask and heading off to get some quinoa salad. What else should I be doing?!

The opinions expressed were only, in part, those of the author.

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