More of my IFRS adventures on Twitter, or: IFRS 9 is Satan’s standard!

Well, let’s continue the holiday season with a new batch of real-life tweets (the last one was here) which made mention of IFRS in one way or another, presented here in their original form with all possible typos and obscenities and general oddities intact. We’ll begin here:

  • The worst part of my 2019 was implementing IFRS 16! A standard that provided no useful information for management reporting… and info that frankly lived in the commitments schedule previously. A make work project for the year end audit, like impairment. My sympathies.

But how, I wonder, is your 2020 so far?!

A Twitter user called “Hot Girl Mia” asked users to “tell me something i dont know,” posting the following picture as an enticement:

EQ56V7BWoAIgKkf

This prompted someone to inform her: “IFRS 9 is an International Financial Reporting Standard (IFRS) published by the International Accounting Standards Board (IASB). It addresses the accounting for financial instruments. It contains three main topics: classification and measurement of financial imstruments.” Is that the kind of thing she was looking for? I wouldn’t presume to judge…

In a similar vein, in response to the question “Boobs or Ass?” (I’ll omit those photos), someone responded as follows:

  • there are two major approaches to IFRS 16 adoption for a first timer. the cheapest and easiest is the modified retrospective approach. under this approach, the cumulative effect of initially applying IFRS 16 is recognized as an adjustment to equity.
    but ass though.

Classic! And there’s much, much more:

  • Getting vicariously stressed listening to a man on the train desribe his IFRS to US GAAP consolidation process in minute detail to someone on the phone who clearly isn’t getting it.I was 5 to falling asleep and I got a call about IFRS 16 and IFRS 9. Jesus fix it. This can’t be my life.
  • On today’s episode of weird dreams, I dreamt about the table of contents in the IFRS book…
    gawd someone save me pls
  • My boss called me today to have a discussion on IFRS 16 at 9 am in the morning. Who the fuck does that on a sunday.
  • 1.I’m a picky eater
    2. I can’t stand it when people drag their feet.
    3. I love routine.
    4. Being late grates my tits.
    5. I wish there was n IFRS standard to follow for relations with people.
    6. I haven’t had McDees in about 10 days because McDonald’s Obz is a rat.
  • normalize fingering yourself while studying that IFRS, it’s standard
  • I slept through the IFRS lectures during my undergrad thinking I would never use it… Year end is kicking my ass right now!
  • Taylor Swift old songs marathon. Can’t believe I remember all the lyrics. Wish it’s this easy for the ias and ifrs
  • brought my ifrs home and my little sister asked me why i’m highlighting the dictionary
  • what my lecturer said : IFRS
    what I heard : i have fat ass
  • Bankers thinking about IFRS 9, just like me thinking about running this morning. I wanted to run. I knew I needed to run, then I remembered the pizzas and pasta (debts and provisions) of the past 6 weeks; and realised I’d probably get a cramp or faint (liquidity crunch or bust).
  • When a man is proud of IFRS he is tired of life
  • I have a few hours to put together a loan portfolio accounting model that is IFRS 9 compliant.
  • It’s one thing to love automating finance and playing around with its instruments, but it’s also another thing to have a life.
  • I’m a proof that God takes back his Talents. I used to be able to Sing, Dance and play football. But now I can’t do jack, all I know is IFRS. Baba God no vex, please gimme a second chance
  • rather go home and count every grain of salt in my kitchen than learn another IFRS
  • IFRS 15 has me by the tits. I don’t know if it’s cause Im tired but this is really difficult
  • Ifrs 9 is satan’s standard. Everytime I get into an exam I pray it’s not there
  • Went to fight a war with no armour. I stupidly left an essential IFRS at home and integrated tests start today
  • As i got down from keke, i saw some of my guys discussing about the course and possible areas of concentration. I was hearing Lease, Construction Contract, IAS this, IFRS that. I was shock i asked them “are these topics in the syllabus?”
  • Staying on that mountain means packing a lunch bag plus fruit snacks and my big ass bottle of water. Not too mention carrying two bags because I have 5 million tax/auditing/ifrs standards, just seems like a lot
  • I am going to compile an IFRS in the next few years when I’m fully graduationed.. Mark my words…Idk but I know will, Maybe IFRS 27. I put the rest to God

(And this is me) Well, I’m off to listen to Taylor Swift while counting grains of salt. Happy new year!

The opinions expressed were intermittently those of the author

 

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